*Disclaimer-The posts in the blog series, My Life and Welcome to It, are written from the heart, mind, and soul. These won’t be polished pieces. Typos may occur and sentence structure may be wonky at times.
I’M BACK! Kind of. Remember back in April I said this was going to be a monthly series? Well, a funny thing happened along the way. Life got hectic. After over 2 looooong years, my divorce was finalized. Quite a bumpy and frustrating road. (more on that later), I sold my condo, and moved in with my mom.
I’m pretty good with a little change but when a lot of change comes at me at one time I get overwhelmed and other things suffer. The biggest thing that has suffered over the past few months has been my writing and book world stuff in general.
I have to admit that when I lived alone the book world consumed a lot of my time. When I wasn’t writing, marketing, etc, my thoughts were on my books to the point that I got tired of them. Even before the hectic stuff started, my focus had started to shift little by little toward other things. I found myself getting bored with writing and all that came with it. May hit and I shoved writing and the book world almost completely to the side.
I no longer spent my time reading, writing, or even thinking of my stories. I’d hop on social media here and there, but even that got less and less. Once I moved, all my time and energy went to getting settled in and helping my mom out. Momma is doing great physically. In fact, she gets around better than a lot of people half her age. But my mom suffers from dementia.
Dementia. It’s a hard word to type. My sister and I have been using terms like bad memory, little spells, out of sorts, etc. But neither of us has uttered the word, “dementia.” Truth be told, I never even thought to apply the word to my mom until 2 close friends said it. One worked in the medical field and the other currently works in senior living. The first time I heard the “D” word was like a slap in the face. She was just a little confused at times. She’s 84, of course she’s going to forget things. The other day Momma looked at me and asked, “How are your parents?”
She couldn’t remember that she’d had two daughters, two grandchildren, or a brother.
SIDE NOTE: The one thing Momma never forgets or gets confused about is Buster, my little dog. And she’s not even a dog person. 🙂
Please don’t feel bad for the situation. Dementia isn’t a bad word. It’s not a great word. There are some who suffer from it who become very combative, which is very difficult on them as well as their families. Momma does get frustrated at times, like when she struggles with her words. But in general, she’s a happy person.
No matter if my mom remembers me or not, I feel extremely fortunate to be able to spend this time with her. We have a lot of laughs and happy hour just about every day.
So settling in and my mom have replaced book world stuff. I’m trying to find a balance. I’ve actually sat in front of my computer a few afternoons and worked on Doug and Sophie’s story. I was fortunate enough to be invited to two incredible book signings (London and Rome), but I had to cancel them. Since my sister travels with me, both of us couldn’t travel that far away at this time.
At first I felt guilty for not writing or promoting my books every day. But when Momma and I are sitting on the back porch with wine glass in hand, and laughter in the air, I know I’m where I’m supposed to be.